I've known many people on baclofen who have fallen in love unexpectedly, usually with another baclofenista. For one person it was a reciprocated affair lasting many months, for another it quickly waned and was over in less than a day. For many it lingers on, often unspoken. In my case, I am hugely, deeply, madly in love and I don't care who knows it. The other party not only knows, but feels exactly the same way. We share our love in every way, its physical manifestation is a thing of pure beauty. But that's enough about me and my bedroom mirror.
Is it really love or a consequence of HDB (High Dose Baclofen)? The scientists will probably tell you it's all to do with chemical rebalancing and the amygdala or some such bollocks, but who gives a crap what those pointy-headed, pencil-knecked, nerds say? You can't listen to them, they've probably only ever been in love the once, and only consummated it in their 30s, and even then it really didn't count because the other party was asleep/rat-arsed drunk/a galia melon.
And it's not just love; many people report other heightened emotions, particularly after the baclofen switch: fear, restlessness, indignation, disgust, sorrow and hatred. All strongly felt. Much more so than previously and often with little in the way of obvious justification. And then there's the self-obsession that envelopes those emotions: “Why am I the only one who feels this strongly about … ?”. Do we become so self-obsessed because HDB alters our brain or upsets our chemical balance, or simply because we suddenly realise we've neglected (or even actively, deliberately, been destroying) ourselves for so long and we start to make up for it, for the lost time.
Is the love felt by one on HDB any less real, any less pure? Is it necessarily destined to be be short-lived, simply because of the involvement of the chemical? I really need to know; I'd hate to break up with my mirror. Oh, that could get messy.
Great question, and something I was pondering earlier today. Titrating up, I could feel the forced lovey-dovey feeling that made me feel very close to everyone and everything, especially animals. Those scientist types that you mentioned explain the cause of it as oxytocin being released, aka the love hormone. Me and you know, of course, that it's really just magic. Sadly though, the magic fades, and we're left with ourselves.
ReplyDeleteI'm starting to feel the love around me for the first time, and it's not caused by magic anymore. Seems that once our brains clear from the alcoholic fog we can be capable of strong positive emotions again, because I definitely didn't feel anything when I was drunk. I think your love for your mirror is a natural and beautiful thing, and has the potential to be a long and satisfying relationship.
I feel like I'm in the 60s with the psychedelic background lol. Very far out, dude :) Peace.
I think this background is loving. Is this a reflection of HDB? Probably! You raise a good point. I've often wondered if my openness is a reflection of my true inner self, or a chemical alteration. I haven't fallen in love on HDB. Not even with my mirror.
ReplyDeletemurphy, i love what's in my mirror, too. and i am absolutely certain that it's real. hdb -while it may be making us all crazy- is enabling us to feel again, in a very tangible and tingly way. the backdrop fits; the love is authentic.
ReplyDeletemaybe we're just feeling what we're supposed to be feeling. or maybe we're making up for all of that time lost on being numb. or both. in either case, the extasy is real and deserved. i don't think baclofen is tricking us.
if we start to think we can walk on water from the high of it all, and actually set out to cross oceans, then we might want to reconsider my theory. but for now, for me, it's proven.